Project 52 | Determined | Week 21

Motherhood is

Determined.

When he gets his mind set on something, he will do anything he can to get it.

But this mama just as determined.

To teach him boundaries and expectations.
To instill good eating and sleeping habits.

To teach acceptable social and emotional behaviors.
To snuggle, hug, and kiss on him as much as possible.
To make sure he never wonders if he's loved. 

He has this face he makes, when he's determined. I tried to catch it. But he heard the camera and decided he wanted to touch the lens.


It's blurry, and his little finger is smeared across the photo, but this is him. This is my life right now. Holding on tightly to the boundaries and expectations that we worked hard to instill since he was just a baby.


It's working, we are holding on and not losing ground. But every day this intelligent, determined little problem solver works to try and outwit mama. And I am loving every challenging, exhausting minute of it! I am blown away by the curiosity and mischief that fills my days. He understands EVERYTHING I say, and just in the past two weeks, he has tripled the number of words he says.


It's absolutely amazing to watch a child grow before your eyes. I am so blessed to get to spend every moment with him!



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just because

seriously, I love this boy. He's amazing. Just had to share a couple of photos from today.

seriously mom... enough pictures.

Project 52 | Hard | Week 20

Motherhood is

hard. 

And some weeks, I can barely hold on.

This week has been absolutely wonderful, and yet, so heartbreaking.

And I seem to be coasting on neutral right now.

I snapped this in the 30 minutes of down time I had on Thursday. My hair still mussed from a morning in the North Dakota winds, make up non-existent, and my freckles making a reappearance after a long winter inside despite layers of sunscreen. 


My life has exploded into a flurry of park playdates, craft shows and MOPS planning meetings. It's wonderful. It's also very overwhelming for this homebody. 




I  am so blessed with my husband, son, family, friends and activities. Life is good. I am happy.




But it's amazing how letting go of control can be so hard sometimes.  I'm not sure what my life is supposed to look like. Or where it's headed. But I'm not ready to give up hope in my Lord yet. He knows the desires of my heart and He has a plan. So I'm trusting.




And hanging onto the wonderful roller coaster ride that is motherhood. 








I wrote this post last night, and then this morning, I saw that my awesome sister-in-law, Jackie, posted this song, and I had to share, exactly where I am.


Partial Lyrics from Casting Crowns “Somewhere in the Middle”:

“Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle

Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves

Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You're by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I'm caught in the middle”




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Project 52 | Dramatic | Week 19

Motherhood is

Dramatic.

because the fact that there is no 'lid' to take off an empty ribbon roll,

is enough to cause a full fledged fit.

But I don't actually mind the fits that much,

because it's all part of this wonderful, personality discovering journey.

 (plus I can just walk away from a fit, the leg-clinging whining? not so much)

And yes, in the middle of his fit, I laid down on the floor and took pictures... He wasn't sure what to think of it. He actually stopped screaming and looked at me like I was crazy.

Some people hate the tantrums and "terrible twos" but if you go into it with a plan of how you handle fits, and you don't budge or give in to the unreasonable emotions, they calm down pretty quick. (*disclaimer- it's possible in a year I will have a different opinion, but I truly believe in beginning as you mean to go- I've already seen how clear boundaries and expectations set your child up for good behavior.)

I love tantrums. Because they mean that he understands enough to have an opinion and feelings. And so they remind me to encourage him to make choices and decisions and allow opportunities for him to play independently. He has a little personality in there, he is his own person, and I can't wait to see who he becomes.

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this much [16 mos]

I never thought I would be able to name every type of construction vehicle and it's purpose, but thanks to this cutie, I can. And do. daily.

My child has an obsession with vehicles. And by obsession, I mean over the top, crazy LOVE of 'tucks,' as he calls them. He will be playing with a toy in the yard and will stop everything he is doing to point at every single car that comes by. He gets especially excited over the big UPS or Fedex trucks. Or the street sweeper (which yes, runs constantly up here because they dump dirt on the roads to melt the snow).


We dropped the morning nap before our trip. And as freeing as it is to be able to go places in the morning, that 7am-1215pm stretch can get REALLY long. He seems to get the fussies around 1000, when he gets bored of his toys and mama. 


Lucky for him, and me, they are continuing the constant construction up here, and there are ALWAYS construction vehicles working on the houses up. the street from us. So pretty much daily, now that it's warm enough, we walk down and sit across from the construction zone and watch trucks. He will sit for 30 minutes solid, pointing at the trucks, just mesmerized by how big they are. We talk about what they are doing, where they are moving the dirt, and all the noises they make. In this picture, he was pointing out a small bulldozer across the street. 




I love my life. Construction trucks and all!





linking up with styleberry blog in her *this much* project.

Project 52 | Love | Week 18

Motherhood is

Love.

complete, all consuming, knock me to my knees love.

From the moment I saw those sweet eyes, my entire world changed.

And I began to truly comprehend the love my Father and my Savior have for me.

metadata: f/4, 1/60, ISO 800

He's amazing.


You think you know love. You think you know the 'I would give anything, die for you' type of love. And then you have a child. And your concept of love changes, forever.




And the most amazing thing is, each time I look into those eyes and feel my heart swell with love, I know that what I feel is just a fraction of the love my Lord feels for me. How blessed are we? To be loved unconditionally and so completely by the God who gave his very son's life for our own. Amazing.


Happy Mother's Day.




Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:35-39).

styleberry blog |  bump meet baby | capturing memories | capturing my time |cyan baby bliss | fitori |katie clay photography | new mom adventure | phreckle face photography | {rik-see } photography |surviving endrometriosis | the buckeye homestead | the vandyck family