Project 52 | Hard | Week 20

Motherhood is

hard. 

And some weeks, I can barely hold on.

This week has been absolutely wonderful, and yet, so heartbreaking.

And I seem to be coasting on neutral right now.

I snapped this in the 30 minutes of down time I had on Thursday. My hair still mussed from a morning in the North Dakota winds, make up non-existent, and my freckles making a reappearance after a long winter inside despite layers of sunscreen. 


My life has exploded into a flurry of park playdates, craft shows and MOPS planning meetings. It's wonderful. It's also very overwhelming for this homebody. 




I  am so blessed with my husband, son, family, friends and activities. Life is good. I am happy.




But it's amazing how letting go of control can be so hard sometimes.  I'm not sure what my life is supposed to look like. Or where it's headed. But I'm not ready to give up hope in my Lord yet. He knows the desires of my heart and He has a plan. So I'm trusting.




And hanging onto the wonderful roller coaster ride that is motherhood. 








I wrote this post last night, and then this morning, I saw that my awesome sister-in-law, Jackie, posted this song, and I had to share, exactly where I am.


Partial Lyrics from Casting Crowns “Somewhere in the Middle”:

“Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle

Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves

Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You're by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I'm caught in the middle”




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