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26 August 2011

Project 52 | History | Week 34

Motherhood is


We are enjoying being 'home' this week.

We have 11 families all within 2 hours of Austin, Texas.

Which makes for a very very busy two weeks!

styleberry blog |cyan baby bliss | fitori | phreckle face photography | {rik-see } photography | the vandyck family

19 August 2011

Project 52 | Simple | Week 33

Motherhood is


It doesn't matter how long my to do list is, or where I have to be when.

The best parts of my day, are just playing with him.

It doesn't have to be creative or over the top.

Just simply being with him is perfect.

styleberry blog |cyan baby bliss | fitori | phreckle face photography | {rik-see } photography | the vandyck family

17 August 2011

The Dilemma

Good news: Jarvis is ready for potty training. Completely ready.

Bad news: Mama's energy level is NOT ready for potty training.

We leave for a vacation to visit family this weekend for two weeks. When we come back, I am buckling down (on myself) and getting potty training done. Whether I have energy or not!

Because let's be honest, I'm probably not going to get MORE energy as the twins continue to get bigger and steal all my nutrients.

And I would much rather be changing just two cute diaper bums come January, rather than three!

Seriously, all I can think of is just how gross public bathrooms are and that Jarvis will have to use them. YUCK. Totally going to keep a toddler potty in the car, forget nasty public bathrooms.

And because every post is better with a picture.... the big boy painting with colored shaving cream before bathtime!

15 August 2011

Questions | The Fishies

I have been getting quite a few of the same repeat questions lately, so I figured I would address them on here for all those asking (or those too afraid to ask!). 

Were we on fertility treatments when we conceived the twins?

Not many people have actually been brave enough to ask this question, but I know lots are thinking it!

But the answer is, no, the twins are all natural! I was on Clomid to conceive Jarvis, but we are blessed to have not had to use fertility treatments since then. Which honestly, just goes to show you how amazing our Lord truly is! He can do just about anything! Including giving fraternal twins to a woman with a history of issues ovulating!

Are we finding out the genders of the twins?

Short answer: We still aren't sure. haha.

Long answer, it's a tough decision. Honestly, we don't want to find out. I like not knowing, I love the surprise. I really liked not knowing with Jarvis. And it doesn't matter one bit to me if it's two girls, two boys, or a mix. All I want to know is that they are healthy. Initially, we did not find with Jarvis because it was financially smarter. I bought all neutral baby items so that we could use them again, no matter what. But then I liked not knowing. Certainly gave me that extra desire to push!! We try very hard to be financially smart, and honestly, when it comes to the twins, it is smarter to find out. We know lots of people who are willing to give us clothes and supplies. 

So yes, we aren't sure. And I'm not sure when we will make the decision! And we reserve the right to change our minds alot! haha!

I was honestly surprised at how many of you voted for us to keep it a secret!

And now for some fun news! Last Friday I thought I felt the fishies move for the first time. I thought I was crazy and just making it up, but after repetitive motion in the same place over several days, I decided to do a little test. We were able to confirm exactly where they were with the Doppler fetal monitor, and it's right where I have been feeling lots of motion! I guess the two of them in there are causing a ruckus already! It's not constant, but at least once or twice a day I feel little flutters, kicks, and jumps. Can't wait to be feeling them even more!! This is much earlier than I felt either Job or Jarvis (both around 16 weeks).

Any questions you have for me that I haven't answered???

12 August 2011

Project 52 | Hope | Week 31

Motherhood is


That what seems impossible just might actually happen.

Because my Lord can do more than I can even imagine!

I did it! I bought the fishes two sweet little sets of onesies. (Which by the way, only having ONE children's store in Minot besides Target means there is very little selection for neutral baby things! But Target came through in the end, haha!)

Heard this song again on the radio today as I drove to Target, and it felt just right!

You must think I'm strong
To give me what I'm going through

Well, forgive me
Forgive me if I'm wrong
But this looks like more than I can do
On my own

I know I'm not strong enough to be
everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not stong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
For the both of us

"Strong Enough" by Matthew West

10 August 2011

Fear | Hope

It's a constant battle against the fear right now. Every moment of every day. I know too much, I've seen too much, I've read to much. I know exactly what can happen in pregnancy. And most of it has to me or someone I am close to. 

That fear can be suffocating and paralyzing. It robs you of your joy and peace and trust. It makes it hard to sleep at night and makes even getting the littlest things done difficult. 

But I'm not going to let it. I'm fighting back the fear and trying my hardest to trust. 

The book that probably made THE biggest difference in my attitude in dealing with losing Job was I Will Carry You by Angie Smith (thank you to my sister-in-law's mother, Mrs. Q for sending it!). Her words, her faith, her optimism made all the difference. She has a blog and I follow it often. This spring, I was reading up on old posts, and she has one called Permission to Hope. She's talking about her first pregnancy since losing her daughter Audrey. Back when they were first dealing with the news of Audrey's diagnosis, she photographer her older daughter asleep but still clutching a balloon and said they were doing the same thing, holding on to hope against all the odds. When they went in for an ultrasound with this new pregnancy, the tech mentioned that it looked like the baby was holding a balloon. She talks about how this gave her permission to hope, the knowledge that God was there. That there was no guarantee that this baby would be fine, but that He would be there with her the whole time.

I prayed those same prayers before out ultrasound at 8 weeks, Lord please give me some hope, some feeling of Your presence in this pregnancy. And when we first saw those babies on that screen, her post was the first thing I though of.... Do you see it?

It's not as perfect as her's was (go check her post) but I felt it in my heart, that hope. That knowledge that my God is all powerful, amazing, and He CAN do anything.  

Everyday I try, but it's still hard to fight back the fear. 

I haven't bought a thing for the twins yet. I just couldn't bring myself to. 

I bought Job a Duckie blanket the week we found out about him, and Monkey a little monkey sleeper. They lay folded in the empty bassinet by my bed. I can't bring myself to put them in the with rest of the baby clothes. I'm not sure I want them to be used. But I don't know what to do with them. At least with all the rest of the baby stuff, Jarvis used it, so there are happy memories attached too. But buying another car seat, crib, or matching clothes. Well there's always the possibility that they will sit there unused. 

But that's no way to live my life. I am THRILLED about the twins. I am ECSTATIC. And living in fear strips away all the joy. And like I have said before, I want to live every single day with them and enjoy it, not worrying when the last might be. 

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7

So my challenge for the week is to make some time to get to town and buy matching outfits. I promise to share them when I do! And I challenge you to face the fears in your life, throw all your trust on our Lord and march headfirst into battle. 

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:9

08 August 2011

Head to Toe

Ahhhhh, I can not even tell you what a DEEP sigh of relief it was to see the fishies today. We had a checkup and got to get a quick ultrasound to check on them. My heart literally leapt to see them both wiggling and kicking and moving.

They are laid out head to toe, with Fishy A lower and towards my back, and Fishy B higher and more forwards. That will change of course, but Fishy A will always be the one closer to the exit! They are in seperate gestational sacs and have separate placentas, which is the most ideal type of twinning and eliminates some of the risk factors with twins.

The best part was that they both kept kicking one another in the heads. Too adorable!

They are positioned so that we can't get them both in one picture, but here are the two sacs, and a little hand!

Fishy A

Fishy B

As far as I am doing, this pregnancy has definitely been the most difficult of all 4. My hormone levels are much higher and thus my symptoms are much more severe. However this week I have started to have a bit more energy and have been able to keep down more food. 

I have already popped, around 10 weeks I had to switch over to maternity pants. And I look much further along than I actually am!

05 August 2011

Project 52 | Changes | Week 31

Motherhood is


Big ones, little ones.
Ones that slip right by without you noticing.
Ones you fret over and plan for. 
But it never fails, he changes everyday.


Somebody got his first summer buzz cut. Just like Daddy and Uncle Bo-Bo used to get every year, and Poppy and Great-Uncle James did before them. Apparently it's a McCown tradition. 

But he looks like a different child! I defiantly can not call him a baby any more. Somehow he slipped right into a little boy.

He's got some BIG changes headed his way in the next 6 months. But this Mama has decided not to worry or fret about them, but instead treasure the last couple months with him as an only child. I'm pouring all the love and attention that I can into him. Because I know with two newborn siblings, he will have to become a much bigger boy too quickly. So for now, he's gets to be little, but with a big boy haircut.

(Apparently this mama guilt over adding siblings is normal... I don't remember feeling this way when we were expecting Job, I think it's more the guilt that it will be two screaming infants, not just one. Don't get me wrong, we are THRILLED and I would do nothing to change it, but it still makes me a little sad for Jarvis in the time department (although he LOVES babies and is such a good helper, I know he will be fine) Did you worry for your older kids when you added siblings?)

04 August 2011

19 mos update

I haven't been very good about keeping up with this, but he's changed so much in the past month, I just had to do an update.

One of the biggest things that stands out to me right now is his penchant for collections. And for moving those collections from surface to surface. over, over, and over again. All day long. Usually, it's primarily trucks, but also any other random toys near his trucks. They go, one by one, from the couch, to the coffee table, to the stool, to the side table, to my desk, to his chair, to my cutting table, and even more. He carries them each over to the new place and lines them up. It's adorable. It's also slightly too close to Mama's OCD tendancies, haha! And seriously, he spends at least 80% of his waking time doing this. It's cute, but strange!

He talking SO much more. LOTS. He will now attempt to repeat words if you ask him. And he's probably gained at least 10 words in the past week and a half. Many of them only I can understand, and usually only through context clues. But he gets to excited when I understand him. And I love that he can communicate what he wants and what he is thinking.

He has blown kisses for several months, but the past month he learned to give real kisses. He will make little popping kissing noises in the middle of lunch or right before bed and ask for kisses. And he defiantly needs a kiss goodbye every time dada leaves.

Like I mentioned before, he made the transition to a big boy bed this month. And although it was a bit hard, he has done REALLY well. I think he was ready for the independence. 

He is such a little stinker sometimes though. He knows the boundaries and what is allowed and not allowed at home and out, so he either waits until I am not looking (or in the bathroom), or he says 'no-no' the entire time he does it. Little snot! He really likes to tell the puppy or kitty 'no-no' if they are doing something they shouldn't.

Signing is pretty much the same, but he has begun to learn that if I am not looking at him when he signs, if he says the word too it works better. Improvement!

Lately he has picked up this strange habit of saying 'dadamama' as one word when he wants us both to do something, or just out of nowhere, even when dada isn't home! He will also be babbling to himself with trucks, and throw in an occasional dadamama. Guess they are just two very familiar words!

He had a well-baby check up today, and everything looks good! He is 25lbs (37th percentile), and 32.5 inches tall (62nd percentile) and his head measured in the 56th percentile. He had a big growth spurt in the past 6 months and is right on track developmentally.  

That was very wordy, but that's most of where he is right now! Up next on our continual list of developmental milestones are to drop the pacis, move from the nursery to the big boy room, and to commit to potty training. Such a big boy!

Hugs, C

02 August 2011

this much [19 mos]


He's blown kisses for quite a while, but in the past month, he's learned to lean in and give REAL kisses.

It's heaven. He melts my heart every time! 

I am finding that I am trying so hard to treasure and savor the next 4-6 months of him being an only child. I'm sad for him, but I'm also so excited! He loves babies and other kids, and I know he will love the fishies!

Linking up to styleberryPHOTO for this much!