the tangled web | loss

the first moment you hold your brand-new baby(ies) in your arms after losing another child...

everything you thought you dealt with gets even more complicated.

having more children after a loss is just a big tangled web of

fear

hope

grieving

guilt

awe

appreciation

longing

desperation

love

add in a side dish of brand-new mother hormones... and it's a big ole' mess.

because no matter how much you love the new baby(ies), and how separate the love is for your living and lost children in your heart. 

motherhood is still forever colored a little differently.

The question is whether you let the shades of loss color everything darker... 

or whether the streaks of new sunshine can light up the old pains.

Don't worry. I'm doing just fine. I am blessed, and so much better for having known Job and Monkey.

But please keep in mind, if you ever meet another mother who's struggling with their feelings of guilt over having a new baby after having lost another, don't act appalled or like she doesn't lover her new baby as much as the first. Things are forever different after ANY type of tragic loss or pain.

And holding my children will forever make me long to hold my missing two children. It's reality. And honestly- I miss them even more now. 

But, oh, how wonderful that reunion will be someday.

And until then, I'll keep snuggling my precious children here on earth.

My dear friend Christa, who lost her sweet son Mason at just a few days old, wrote a post a few days ago that hit the nail on the head- hope she doesn't mind me sharing! But here's another mother's perspective as she celebrates the birth of her son Noah. Going through another pregnancy together at the same time was such a blessing and she has been an inspiration and support for me, as I hope I was for her.

Remembering...

Today is the year anniversary of Job's due date. And while this may seem like I am 'dwelling' to some people, in the interest of being honest, I have very mixed feelings this week. Yes, we are so very blessed in so many ways right now, but Job deserves some remembrance, and he is very much a part of my everyday life and thoughts. 


Part of me wonders if anyone else besides me knows (or cares) that he should be turning one right now. Although it doesn't really matter if they do, because I know many people loved and grieved him. I can't help but think about what it would be like to have a one year old and Jarvis right now. How they would play together, how alike they would look, how crazed I might be- haha!


It's strange to be facing this anniversary with TWO babies who will be here any day kicking away in my belly. If we had not lost Job (and then Monkey), we most likely would not be having the twins. This knowledge doesn't make me grateful for having lost him- I would still give just about anything to have him here with us. But it does make me so very aware that the Lord has a bigger plan than we can see in the moment.


The first days (weeks, months) after I gave birth to and held my stillborn child, I felt so empty and I could not see how the Lord could have ever wanted this pain for me, or how He had bigger plans for me or anyone in it. It's hard to hold onto the Good and the Truth in the midst of all the pain.


But the mother I am today; the mother that losing Job has shaped me into- this mother is ready (and thrilled) to be having twins with a very spirited 2-year-old running around. The mother I was before Job, she could not have done this (I would have tried, but I would have tried on my own, not with the support of my Lord). My attitude, mental, emotional, and spiritual state would not have been ready for this challenge.


So yes, today I grieve. Despite the huge promise of new life at the tips of my fingertips, I am still sad. I miss my son. I wish I could see what he would look like today. I wish I could hold him and rock him. I wish I could see his big brother read him a book. I wish I could see him rolling on the floor giggling with my amazing husband.


But I know I will someday. And until then- I accept, and embrace, that my Lord has big plans for my life. He knows what I need and when. He doesn't promise it will be easy, but He promises to be there for me. And that. That is enough.


We miss you Job. We can not wait for the day we will all be together again!

A Year

a year.


It's been a year.  


Doesn't seem like it's been that long. It still feels like yesterday in so many way.








Time passes, things go back to a 'new' normal, and everyone else moves on. That's what's supposed to happen when you lose someone you love. You grieve, you celebrate that you knew them, but life continues. Because our life is meant to be lived for His Glory. And with the knowledge that we never lose loved ones for good, but that someday we will gather with them in eternity. 


I believe that. 




In a year, I have already seen the good that the Lord worked in Job's short life. I've already seen bits and pieces of His plan revealed to me. I have been broken and shaped and grown as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, and leader. 






I wholeheartedly, without a doubt believe that the Lord had a purpose in giving and taking away Job. His plan is better than anything I can imagine. I know He is working good every single day of my life, if I seek to glorify Him.








But today. 


Today my human heart still grieves. I still hurt and ache to hold him. But most of all, the mother in me is desperate for people to remember him. Why? Because he is our son. Because I felt him kick. I gave birth to him. We held him. And because we lost him. Because is and always will be a part of our family. Because I will always have one more child, waiting on me, up in heaven.






Today I am infinitely more grateful for the blessings in my life, my husband, Jarvis, the twins, and the time we did have with Job. Because he changed my life. Forever. I lost my innocence but gained a stronger, deeper understanding of my amazing Lord. And because of him, I will never lose my hope. 





But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him,
   on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,
to deliver them from death
   and keep them alive in famine.
We wait in hope for the LORD;
   he is our help and our shield.
In him our hearts rejoice,
   for we trust in his holy name.
May your unfailing love be with us, LORD,
   even as we put our hope in you.
Psalm 33: 18-25

Fear | Hope

It's a constant battle against the fear right now. Every moment of every day. I know too much, I've seen too much, I've read to much. I know exactly what can happen in pregnancy. And most of it has to me or someone I am close to. 


That fear can be suffocating and paralyzing. It robs you of your joy and peace and trust. It makes it hard to sleep at night and makes even getting the littlest things done difficult. 




But I'm not going to let it. I'm fighting back the fear and trying my hardest to trust. 




The book that probably made THE biggest difference in my attitude in dealing with losing Job was I Will Carry You by Angie Smith (thank you to my sister-in-law's mother, Mrs. Q for sending it!). Her words, her faith, her optimism made all the difference. She has a blog and I follow it often. This spring, I was reading up on old posts, and she has one called Permission to Hope. She's talking about her first pregnancy since losing her daughter Audrey. Back when they were first dealing with the news of Audrey's diagnosis, she photographer her older daughter asleep but still clutching a balloon and said they were doing the same thing, holding on to hope against all the odds. When they went in for an ultrasound with this new pregnancy, the tech mentioned that it looked like the baby was holding a balloon. She talks about how this gave her permission to hope, the knowledge that God was there. That there was no guarantee that this baby would be fine, but that He would be there with her the whole time.


I prayed those same prayers before out ultrasound at 8 weeks, Lord please give me some hope, some feeling of Your presence in this pregnancy. And when we first saw those babies on that screen, her post was the first thing I though of.... Do you see it?

It's not as perfect as her's was (go check her post) but I felt it in my heart, that hope. That knowledge that my God is all powerful, amazing, and He CAN do anything.  


Everyday I try, but it's still hard to fight back the fear. 


I haven't bought a thing for the twins yet. I just couldn't bring myself to. 


I bought Job a Duckie blanket the week we found out about him, and Monkey a little monkey sleeper. They lay folded in the empty bassinet by my bed. I can't bring myself to put them in the with rest of the baby clothes. I'm not sure I want them to be used. But I don't know what to do with them. At least with all the rest of the baby stuff, Jarvis used it, so there are happy memories attached too. But buying another car seat, crib, or matching clothes. Well there's always the possibility that they will sit there unused. 


But that's no way to live my life. I am THRILLED about the twins. I am ECSTATIC. And living in fear strips away all the joy. And like I have said before, I want to live every single day with them and enjoy it, not worrying when the last might be. 


"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7


So my challenge for the week is to make some time to get to town and buy matching outfits. I promise to share them when I do! And I challenge you to face the fears in your life, throw all your trust on our Lord and march headfirst into battle. 


Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:9

A bumpy ride.

ah. this grieving thing, it's certainly a roller coaster. a very bumpy one.


**I'm trying to be more transparent, more open about my feelings and shortcomings. I've been told that I can come across as perfect, as all put together. But I'm not, I'm imperfect and flawed and struggle. And I think that only in being honest and open can we truly help one another. That's the only way we can grow and bond. So here's a little open honesty for you.**




I can happily say that I have more good days than bad now. But honestly, the number of bad days still surprises me. I don't go a single day that I don't think of Job, and what our lives would be like with him. There's not a moment that I don't miss him and ache to hold him. There's so many things that remind me, that spark the memory of what it should be. What I wish it was. 


But most days, I can take a deep breath, send up a prayer for strength, and focus on being thankful for the amazing things I do have.




But not everyday. Every once in a while, it feels as though I just lost him yesterday. The pain is fresh and deep and still so heartbreaking. And it knocks me down completely.


That's when I find myself awake, alone, in the middle of the night, crying out to my Savior for some comfort, any peace. And do you know what usually works?


I have this box. I bought it just to hold my memories of Job. It's small, and doesn't hold many things, but it holds every single card or letter we received.




And so I sit, sort through the few things that mark his tiny life, and read every word of every card. I think about the prayers that those friends and family said over us, about the time they took to pick out a meaningful card, about the loving, encouraging, and comforting words they wrote. And I can almost feel the arms of every one of them hugging me. I can see their faces and feel their love.


Julie, at Joy's Hope, asked for advice and then wrote an amazing blog about What to do and say when a friend loses a baby. It's beautiful, please read it when you get the chance. In an earlier post over on her own website she asked for advice and personal experiences. And as I sat down to respond, I found that all I could think about, all I could remember, were the well-intentioned yet hurtful comments. The ones that belittled my loss and tried to explain it away. I found that it was hard for me to think of what I would tell people TO do. I could only think of what they shouldn't do or say.


It's amazing how much those few poorly worded, hurtful responses stick out so much in my mind when I have a box full of over 50 cards and letters that did just the opposite. 






So tonight, I am letting myself feel the pain and the loss as I immerse myself in the blessings that are my family and friends. I am allowing my loving God to show Himself to me through them, through their words. 

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights 

Are what it takes to know You’re near

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise...

'Blessings"

by Laura Story

If you want to read more about Job's story, click here. 

Project 52 | Fragile | Week 5

52:5

motherhood is

fragile


and precious,

and sometimes much too fleeting.

This was a hard week around here. 


Our sweet 'Duckie' was due on Wednesday. And all week we have been facing the dreams and thoughts of how our lives should be right now. But instead of sleepless nights rocking a newborn, we lie awake grieving the loss of Job.


I wasn't sure I wanted to share this picture on here, it just seems so very personal. But I know our family will appreciate this at the very least. After a lot of thought and debate and prayer and searching, Hubby and I found the perfect urn. 


I don't have any more words right now, but I can only imagine the beauty of heaven and I rest in the hope and love of my Lord.

I can’t imagine heaven’s lullabies

and what they must sound like 

But I will rest in knowing, heaven is your home 

And it’s all you’ll ever know…

styleberry blog |  bump meet baby | capturing memories | capturing my time |cyan baby bliss | fitori |katie clay photography | new mom adventure | phreckle face photography | {rik-see } photography |surviving endrometriosis | the buckeye homestead | the vandyck family | wicked kate




(Those of you who are just now joining me for Project 52 may not know Job's story, click on Duckie to read about our precious child.)

Before the Morning.

This isn't an entry I particularly wanted to write. I'm not sure why I've had so much trouble sharing this information, as we have had it for several weeks, but I have. However, I feel that it's important that you, our family, know the results.

After much deliberation and prayer, we had decided to have an autopsy as well as general blood screening done on Job. Not everyone will agree with this, and it was a very hard decision for us. The chances of knowing what happened and if it could affect other pregnancies went up drastically with an autopsy. We knew we couldn't do anything for Job and that his soul, his life, was up with our Lord.

We got back the results a couple weeks ago, and they were normal. Everything was normal, perfect, developing well, no issues. The cord and placenta were good. There were no genetic abnormalities and his chromosomes were normal. They were unable to give us any reason that Job's heart stopped beating.

In the long run, this is good news, there appear to be no major issues with me that would affect future pregnancies, although we can't be completely certain because there are some things they can't test for after the fact. It is hard news to swallow though, because it makes losing Job seem even more pointless.

We still have hope in the Lord and trust in His big plan.

Do you wonder why you have to,
feel the things that hurt you,
if there's a God who loves you,
where is He now?

Maybe, there are things you can't see
and all those things are happening
to bring a better ending
some day, some how, you'll see, you'll see

Chorus:
Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

so hold on, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling, 
it's just the dark before the morning

My friend, you know how this all ends
and you know where you're going,
you just don't know how you get there
so just say a prayer.
and hold on, cause there's good who love God,
life is not a snapshot, it might take a little time,
but you'll see the bigger picture

Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

so hold on, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling, 
it's just the dark before the morning
yeah, yeah,
before the morning,
yeah, yeah

Once you feel the way of glory,
all your pain will fade to memory
once you feel the way of glory,
all your pain will fade to memory
memory, memory, yeah

Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

com'n, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the hurt before the healing
the pain you've been feeling,
just the dark before the morning

Before The Morning- Josh Wilson




Love, J, C, & J

joy in sorrow...

I'm feeling really beat down lately. I guess it's to be expected. It's so hard to have hope in the face of adversity. It can be difficult to find. I am hurting for one of my best friends, who's little boy was only with them a few days. For what they, and we, are missing. 




So for lack of a better post... here's some scripture from my heart.


1 Peter 3:15

"But in your heart set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give a reason for the hope that you have."

Psalm 73:23-26

 ²³ Yet I am always with you;
       you hold me by my right hand.
 ²⁴ You guide me with your counsel,
       and afterward you will take me into glory.
 ²⁵ Whom have I in heaven but you?
       And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
 ²⁶ My flesh and my heart may fail,
       but God is the strength of my heart
       and my portion forever.

Psalm 6:6-7

 ⁶ I am worn out from groaning;
       all night long I flood my bed with weeping
       and drench my couch with tears.
 ⁷ My eyes grow weak with sorrow;
       they fail because of all my foes.

Job 30:27

 ²⁷ The churning inside me never stops;
       days of suffering confront me.

Isaiah 43

 ¹ But now, this is what the LORD says— 

       he who created you, O Jacob,
       he who formed you, O Israel:
       "Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
       I have summoned you by name; you are mine. ² When you pass through the waters,
       I will be with you;
       and when you pass through the rivers,
       they will not sweep over you.
       When you walk through the fire,
       you will not be burned;
       the flames will not set you ablaze.
 ³ For I am the LORD, your God,
       the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
       I give Egypt for your ransom,
       Cush ^[a] and Seba in your stead.

Ecclesiastes 11:5

 ⁵ As you do not know the path of the wind,
       or how the body is formed ^[a] in a mother's womb,
       so you cannot understand the work of God,
       the Maker of all things.

Psalm 119:49-50 

 ⁴⁹ Remember your word to your servant,
       for you have given me hope. ⁵⁰ My comfort in my suffering is this:
       Your promise preserves my life.




I have hope in my Savior. In the eternal life to come. I struggle in my sorrow and disbelief, but my Lord is always by my side. 




Chelsea

another angel.

I just found out that one of my dear friends lost her baby boy last night. He was very premature, and although seemed to be doing well, his little heart stopped beating just a few days after being born.

I ask you for prayers for these first time parents who are suffering a loss that no one should every experience. Please pray for them and their families for strength and comfort.

Thank you.

National Pregnancy/Infant Loss Day

Tomorrow is National Pregnancy/Infant Loss Day. I wanted to share a website that is doing some amazing things  for this national day.

http://www.iamtheface.org/

I have donated, and hope you will too. Job's name is here, 10 lines up from the bottom. My face is here.

This campaign is organized by the creators of http://www.facesofloss.com/

In Memory...

Some people have expressed an interest in doing something more, honoring Job in other ways.

You are welcome to do anything that helps you honor the memory of Job and his short, precious life. We appreciate all the thought and love that goes into anything you wish to do. Some people have wanted recommendations.

If you wish to do something, but aren't sure what, we recommend donating to the March of Dimes. Here is their mission statement:

Our mission is to improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth, and infant mortality. We carry out this mission through research, community services, education and advocacy to save babies' lives. March of Dimes researchers, volunteers, educators, outreach workers and advocates work together to give all babies a fighting chance against the threats to their health: prematurity, birth defects, low birthweight.

This is an organization that we support whole-heartedly, and if you wish to give in memory of Job, you are welcomed to.

Here's the link for online giving:

https://www.marchofdimes.com/howtohelp/donation_in_memory.asp

Thank you again for your love and your wishes to honor our sweet boy. We love you all very much

J, C, & J

Update...

Dear family and friends

This update is overdue, but things have obviously been a little busy around here. I want to thank you all for the love and encouragement and prayers. J and I wanted to share the basics of what has happened and will happen directly with each of you. We want to make sure that you know the facts and know that we love each of you.

I was over 20 weeks along on Thursday, September 16^th when we went in for a routine anatomy ultrasound. They were unable to find a heartbeat. They think that Job had been gone just about a week then. I had no bleeding, cramping, or any indication that anything was wrong, and the pregnancy had progressed normally up to that point.

Once a pregnancy nears 20 weeks, they no longer consider it a miscarriage, but a stillbirth. As a result, their suggestion (and our choice) was to schedule an induction of labor and deliver the baby naturally. We went in on Friday afternoon and began induction around 3 pm. Labor was fairly easy and quick, which was a blessing. At 3:35am on Saturday, September 18^th, Job Whitcomb McCown was stillborn.

He weighed 3 oz and was 7.5 inches long. He was very tiny, but an absolutely perfect baby. We got to hold him, get footprints and handprints, take some pictures, and spend some time with him. We have decided not to share the pictures at this point in time as they might be hard for some people, but if you would really like to see, please let us know.

At this time, we still are not sure what a happened. There were no visible issues with Job, the cord, or the placenta, so more tests are being run. We hope to find out the results of those in the next couple of weeks. There is a good chance we will have some idea what happened, but it’s also very possible we will never know.

Job’s namesake is from Job 1: 20-21-

Then Job arose, tore his robe, and shaved his head; and he fell to the ground and worshiped. ²¹ And he said:

“ Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
And naked shall I return there.
The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away;
Blessed be the name of the LORD.”

Our sweet Job has been cremated, and is with us right now, but we are still deciding how exactly we would like to handle things. We have not scheduled a memorial service yet, but for now, we are planning that there will be one in Texas, sometime later this year. I’m not sure exactly when, but we will be sure to let you all know.

We are obviously struggling and mourning the loss of our child, but trusting in God’s big plan for our lives. We know that Job is happy, pure, and so loved up in God’s arms right now, and we anxiously anticipate the day when we can meet him. He will always be with us and we will always grieve not getting to know him. He will still always be our Duckie.

We feel so very blessed so have our sweet healthy Jarvis and to have his smiles, giggles, and love in our lives. We are especially thrilled and blessed to have gotten good tests results back and to have Jarvis cleared of any immediate danger from conditions associated with Triphalangeal Thumbs.

We love you all very much and please know you are welcome to call and talk to us anytime. If we don’t feel like talking at the moment or are unable to, we will be sure to tell you and will call you back later, so please do not hesitate.

Once again, we love you all very much,

J, C, and J

Duckie.

Job Whitcomb McCown was stillborn at 335am on Saturday, September 18th. He was 20 weeks gestation. He was baptized and is in his Heavenly Father's loving arms. He was 3oz and 7.5 inches, very tiny but perfect.

Mom is home from the hospital and recovering. We are all grieving the loss of this sweet child, but rejoicing that he is in his eternal glory where there is no pain, suffering, sin, or loss. We look forward to the day when we can meet him.

Job 1:20-21

At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship 21 and said: "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised."

Much love

No words.

I don't have much to say right now. Most of you know, but we discovered that our sweet Duckie has passed on, we were no longer able to find a heartbeat. More to come later... but for now, just prayers please.

How very softly
you tiptoed into my world.
Almost silently;
Only a moment you stayed.
But what an imprint
Your footprints have left
On our hearts.
--Author Unknown

We love you all,

J, C, & J

Quack, quack...

Poor Duckie hasn't had a post devoted completely to him/her, so here goes!!

Duckie hit 20 weeks today, halfway through (assuming this one comes on time!) and I am starting to get excited. This pregnancy has gone so much faster since I've been distracted by Duckie's older brother!! I am so excited about the ultrasound on Thursday and finally getting to see this little one!! I have felt Duckie move some, but not as much as I had felt Jarvis by now, think I may just be more distracted!

I am definitely in maternity clothes and have quite the belly. It's funny how you aren't quite as proud of the belly the 2nd time around, because you know how much of it was the 'momma pouch' from the 1st!! I think that's probably why I haven't been taking many belly pictures, but we took one today and I will get it up soon! I have been gaining weight steadily and feeling pretty good. Tired alot, but that's probably just as much Jarvis related as Duckie :D

It is amazing how quickly you forget all the unpleasant things about pregnancy (despite the fact I only had a 3.5 month break :P) My migraines, which plaqued me throughout pregnancy with Jarvis, have returned, and are much worse. Rather than the 2 a week with Jarvis, I get them nearly daily. Caffeine is the only thing that seems to help, but even that is a hit or miss. Overall though, I have very easy pregnancies, and this one is progressing the same.

I have begun plans to create a toddler room for Jarvis so that Duckie can take over the nursery! Since it's gender neutral, it will work either way! Which means all new sewing and furniture will be for Jarvis' room, not Duckie's (which kinda makes me feel bad for the poor baby :( ) There actually is very little that we need for Duckie besides a few more cloth diapers (since I will have 2 in them!!). And although some people don't believe me... we really are NOT finding out Duckie's gender on Thursday, this one will be a surprise too, sorry :D If Duckie is a boy, we really won't need a thing!! If Duckie is a girl, we will have to start a girl wardrobe, but other than that, we would just use what we did for Jarvis!

I am excited about this addition, but a little nervous to see what everyday life will be like. It will definitely change for all of us, and I'm afraid Jarvis has NO IDEA what's gonna hit him!! I can't wait to find out if Jarvis' little playmate will be a brother or sister, it's actually been more tempting to find out this time compared to last time!!

I will be sure to post pictures after Thursday!!

Much love,

J, C, J, & D

Oh, and 7 posts in 14 days... impressed?? I'm trying :D

2/3rds of a year!

Well, we are all moved over, and mostly settled in. Still have a few pictures to hang, and the garage needs to be unpacked, but we are all done other than that! Everyone loves the new house, lots more living space, and it's easier to keep the now mobile Jarvis contained!

and on that note... Jarvis is now 8 months old!!

He has mastered crawling for sure, and gets faster everyday!! He loves being able to be mobile and looks absolutely delighted when heading for something fascinating! He easily pushes up to sitting, but has not shown any sign of pulling up yet. He is strong enough to hold his weight on his legs, but doesn't have much balance. He picks his feet up and walks while you hold his hands, he gets the concept!!

He has learned 'yes' and 'no' and nods his whole body yes, and shakes his head no. If he's liking what he's eating, doing, or hearing, you are sure to get a whole body nod. But lay him down to change his diaper, or offer peas, and you will get a head shaking no! It's fun to start the communicating process!!

We still only have the 2 bottom teeth, but with the drooling and hands in mouth, we are expecting another one any time now!

He is still eating like a champ, 4 bottles a day and TONS of solid foods. He now does purees of veggies and fruits, followed by a myriad of finger foods. He eats basically all the veggies and fruits you could think of, the only ones he doesn't really like are peas and tomatoes! Finger food-wise, he eats small pieces of veggies or fruits, whole wheat toast, whole wheat pasta, cheeses, turkey, chicken, and his favorite (seriously) tofu. He has gotten very good at getting those little bites into his mouth, although he still does the entire hand scoop, no pincher grasp yet!

He is currently in the middle of another 'Wonder Week' which are predictable mental developmental leaps. These include fussiness, clinginess, food picky-ness and sleep disruptions, and usually last about a week or two. They aren't terribly pleasant, but always end with a very happy baby, who has learned to perceive the world in a whole new way.

On a good note, we received the results back from Jarvis' blood work, and he has been cleared of the condition in question, which is excellent news!! We will be seeing the cardiologist on Monday to do a thorough check-up of his heart, and will let you know how that goes.

There will be some new pictures up on shutterfly later this week, so check back in!

Duckie is doing well, 19 weeks now. We have a big ultrasound scheduled for next Thursday and will be able to share the first pictures of our next little one!! Be sure to check back for those!

I guess that's it for now! Miss you all!

J, C, J, &D

7 months old

It's amazing how much faster these older months tick by compared to the first few!! Those sleepless nights made the days so long!

But our little boy is getting bigger everyday!! He was 7 months old yesterday... quite amazing to me! He has really grown into his personality and is a joy to be around!

Developmentally, he:

• Got his first tooth a few days ago!! It's still barely visible above the gums, but, let me tell you, I can feel it! (that's how we found it!) He's been a little more fussy and been waking once at night needing a little comforting, but mostly he is still his happy self. It's the bottom right front tooth.
• Is dropping his early evening nap. This is a huge deal for us, as it opens up our evenings quite a bit. Some days he still takes a 20-45 min power nap (mostly dependent on how his earlier naps went), but others he is up from 230-7. Which means dinner and/or errands in town! He still has two 2-2.5 hours naps earlier in the day.
• Dropping a nap/moving to a four hour schedule means he has dropped a feeding as well- we are down to 4 bottles a day and lots more solids (more on that later).
• Can sit up on his own quite well. I still lay pillows or the boppy behind him, as he gets excited chewing on a toy and throws back. But he enjoys sitting and viewing toys from another angle!
• He can also stand without any weight support. He needs balance support for sure, but his little legs hold all his weight. He really enjoys this.
• He eats around 8-10 tbs of food at each meal (3 times a day) and eats pretty much whatever we put in front of him. Bananas, pears, peaches, apples, plums, yogurt, spinach, peas, broccoli, cauliflower, mashed potatoes with corn, tomatoes with cheese, sweet potatoes, carrots, butternut squash, corn, and so many more!!
• He has also started finger foods in the past week. We feed him organic puffs (which melt in his mouth), baby biscuits, carrots, and few other soft veggies. He is still learning to get them to his mouth consistently, but he tries hard!
• He now sits up in the shopping cart when we head out, instead of in his infant carrier, which means I am researching convertible car seats, and we will soon upgrade to a big boy car seat!
• He has continued to improve his talking skills and has learned all sorts of new sounds. He blows raspberries, clicks his tongue, squeals, and talks like crazy.
• One of his biggest developments is just how *CLOSE* he is to crawling. He has learned to pull up his knees and enjoys being on all fours. He rocks back and forth and attempts to go forward to reach for toys. He easily crawls/scoots backwards but forward motion is still unpredictable. It seems he will skip the “army crawl” that a lot of children do (pulling their weight forward using their arms alone, dragging their back half) since he enjoys being on his knees so much. But we will see!!

On the Duckie front, everything is going normal! Duckie is nearly 15 weeks along now and has a strong heartbeat. I have another appointment at 18 weeks, and we will mostly likely schedule an ultrasound for around 20 weeks- can’t wait to share the pictures!

All is well up here in the North. We’ve had very mild weather 70s to 80s most days, but if the clouds clear, that sun can really heat things up! We are right in the middle of some major weather though, and have had many large thunderstorms with some rotating clouds. So far it means more days off since Jace can’t fly in that weather :D

In some other big news, there is a possibility that we will be moving houses in the next couple of weeks. We are now eligible for a larger house, and we are considering taking the opportunity! The catch is that we have 7 days once we decided to vacate this house, repaint it, and move into the new one. We’ll let you know what we decide!

We love you and miss you all!! J, C, J, &D