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04 March 2011

stumbling blocks

It seems like this 'season' in my life is going to be a very long, very hard one. It seems like I am surrounded by the stumbling blocks of loss.




I got the call this morning that one of our precious moms from my MOPS group was facing one of the hardest situations ever. She went in this morning to be induced with her baby boy and they were unable to find a heartbeat.




I spent several hours up at the hospital with them, doing what I could, trying to find the words to comfort them, all the while knowing it didn't matter what I said. Praying that something would give them hope, some comfort. But knowing nothing would.




A sweet, precious, innocent baby boy was born sleeping this afternoon. And though I am rejoicing that he is perfectly loved in his Savior's arms, I am so very broken for two amazing parents who's arms are achingly empty tonight.




So please pray for them, and their older son. They are making decisions and facing a world so foreign and painful. Facing something no parent should have to endure.







As I sat there in the room where I delivered Job, and watched them cry and beg and ask why, I can't help but feel every bit of the pain again. It will never go away. I am changed forever. I am broken. I am better for having had Job. And I pray that I can somehow be the hand of God for someone when life seems so very bleak.






Xander,
I can't imagine heaven's lullabies
And what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing
That Heaven is your home
And it's all you'll ever know.


Sleep peacefully sweet boy, you are missed.



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