I was a naive, first time mom and I swore we wouldn't use the pacifer.
until you were 3 months old and I was desperate for sleep training.
but only in the crib or car. and that worked for us.
gone by one year I said.
but you still seemed like such a baby to me.
gone by eighteen months I claimed.
but by then you were VERY attached,
I was pregnant with twins and scared for my precious night sleep.
gone by two I hoped.
but there was going to be so much upheaval in your life in the next month,
as you became a big brother twice over.
two years, three months, and ten days.
we got brave and
you finally said goodbye to the pacifier.
we placed them in a pot,
covered them with dirt,
poured on a little water,
gathered up our wonder pets stuffed animals.
and hoped for the best.
all my fears. all for nothing.
you rocked. my big boy.
you woke a couple of times and unconsciously searched for the pacifier.
but you fell asleep again no problem without any comfort needed.
the look on your face the next morning
when you saw that your pacifiers had sprouted.
and grown a little tree.
completely worth it.
my big boy.
then you napped, no problem.
my big boy.
after nap, you and daddy shared a special celebratory treat.
blueberry greek yogurt pop.
It was barely even a blip on your radar.
and now I feel so silly for worrying so much.
Everytime you lay down to go to sleep now,
you tell me that you don't need pacifiers.
and you are right, so right.
mama needs to remember,
to never let my own fears hold you back...